Volume 39, Number 8
Eighth Month, 2000

Articles: Trust the Trustees (They Do a Good Job) Friends Serve at Festival Booth New Members Introduced Quaker Friends Enjoy the Fourth YFF Enjoys Pool Party JHF Holds Lake Arrowhead Retreat YFF Enjoys Welcome/Good-by Trip to LA Youth Prepare for Trip to H.P.I. Ceres Center "People of Peace, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow" Theme of Peace Camp August 7-11, 2000 USFW Plans "Non-Event" Daycare Workers Needed by Friends School Wayne Tiffany Remembered Senior Sneaks to Meet at Church Picnic August 24 FCNL Wants Your Opinion Moments with Melinda From the Pastor Our Prayer List

Trust the Trustees (They Do a Good Job) As most of us have noticed, First Friends has undergone a dramatic facelift this year, due to the diligent efforts of the Board of Trustees. Don Votaw, clerk, and his committee consisting of George Davidson, Mary Kappmeyer, Les Marshall, Ken Raymond, Earl Rice, and Dan Wright have all devoted their time and skills to maintaining the facilities and improving the appearance. As every homeowner knows: old heaters leak gas, fences need fixing, carpets get worn, cushions go flat, light bulbs burn out, drains stop up, plastic cracks, wood rots, weeds grow, and rain can come in around the windows. At the church, all of the above has happened--and more. What have the trustees done about it? A new heating and air conditioning system has been installed, the school yard fence has been repaired, Mary got bids on carpeting and she, along with the decorating committee, selected the lovely carpet which now graces the Meeting House. George had the pew cushions revamped and delivered last January. He also purchased special new light bulbs and had them installed in the sanctuary. Thanks to Don and Earl, the drains were cleared. Don, Les, and Dan cleaned the stain glass windows on the south side and replaced the plastic covers. Dan with the help of Janet Church put up the fourth church picture in the office hall. Les and Earl, both handy at carpentry, fixed drawers and railings. Les is working on replacing the wooden patio benches. Ken, Don, and many volunteers cleared out trees and bushes in preparation for landscaping, and Ken has done a good job as secretary for the trustees. How to prevent rain from flooding the Fireside Room is a project still in progress, but the committee has a working plan. Through it all, Don has had to deal with contractors, some good, some not so good. The new landscaping has certainly improved the appearance of the property, but the corner sign still needs some work to meet our design requirements. The cleaning service is satisfactory, and Todd Cramer, the custodian, deserves high praise for his outstanding cooperation and hard work. Another duty of the Trustees is to oversee the use of the facilities by outside groups. Renting the Meeting House, Sharpless, and Fellowship Hall brings in revenue, but also creates problems if the kitchen is not left clean or the sound system is misused. Minimizing access to the sound system controls in Fellowship Hall has been done by George Bouchard. Trustees are also responsible for the custodian's apartment and the parsonage, and both have received care in the last few months. Next time you notice the trimmed trees, the newly painted handicapped parking spaces, or the well-kept buildings and grounds, think of the Trustees committee and what a fine job they are doing to keep First Friends looking beautiful and in good repair.

Friends Serve at Festival Booth With the theme of "Friends Who Care" (FWC), and T-shirts proclaiming the message, members of First Friends Church spent 54 woman and man hours during the Whittier Family Festival 2000 July 8 and 9, handing out small cups of ice water or apple juice using 12 gallons of water, 50 pounds of crushed ice, and 8 gallons of apple juice. The frequently used diaper changing station was well stocked with the supplies a Mom or Dad might need to make their young one comfortable. The T-shirts were designed by Stacy Bouchard. The Bouchard and Coffin families ironed the decals on the shirts. The booth was a big success--long hours 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Saturday and 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Sunday, but well worth the effort. A special thanks to the following people who worked two to eight hours in the booth: Anne Eggleton, Alpha Overin, Marie Kaneko, Gwen Woirhaye, Patty Sanchez and Joey Nolan, Gerald Haynes, Dottie Andersen, Lynne Drayer, Audine and Joe Coffin, Carrin and Stacy and Matthew Bouchard. Thanks go to Lynda Ladwig who made the booth signs, and to Gwen Woirhaye who brought an antique rocking chair to use. Carrin Bouchard and Stacy Bouchard, Booth Chairpersons Audine Coffin, Clerk, Public Relations Board

New Members Introduced Three new members of First Friends were not able to be at the Meeting House on June 4, to be welcomed by the congregation. They are Keri Cush, Crystal Cush, and Grace Clift. Keri and Crystal Cush Keri and Crystal were born five minutes apart on March 3, 1981, in Whittier. They were two months premature, weighing 2 pounds, 10 ounces and 2 pounds, 12 ounces. Their first five weeks were spent in the hospital. Today they are beautiful, healthy teenagers. Crystal and Keri lived in Whittier through seventh grade, then moved to Riverside where they attended junior high and high school. They now live in Norco. They have two BIG dogs, five cats, and help their mom with their horse. They love cooking and gardening, their grandmother, Martha Cush, and First Friends Church. Both girls studied ballet. They now attend Riverside City College and hope to attend State College next year. Crystal likes English and languages. She received a Bank of America special award for languages. This summer she is working at Mervyns. Keri is interested in business and accounting. She is employed at Staples. We welcome both girls and are sorry they were not able to attend the welcoming ceremonies due to their work schedules. Grace Clift Grace Clift was born in Weiser, Idaho. She had three sisters and a brother and has entertained the Writing Class with antics of her growing-up years with her siblings. When she was one year old, Grace came to Whittier where her grandparents lived. Later the family moved to Alhambra to be nearer her father's office. He was an attorney, working in the Hall of Records in Los Angeles. After her father died when she was fifteen years old, the family moved back to Whittier and she finished high school at Whittier High. Grace married Dan Clift, a Whittier fireman. They had four children-two boys and two girls. Dan died in 1992. At present, she edits a monthly newsletter for the Whittier Downs Mobile Park. She is an excellent writer. Grace has been a regular attender at First Friends. We welcome you, Grace.

Quaker Friends Enjoy the Fourth Ooh! Ah! Gorgeous! Beautiful! If you think these remarks were reserved just for the fantastic fireworks display viewed from the back yard and upper deck of Bob and Mary Kappmeyer's new home, you'd be wrong. Just as many exclamations were expressed over Bob's clever carpentry and Mary's exquisite decorating. Forty-nine Quaker Friends attended a Fourth-of-July potluck party at their home in North Friendly Hills. The near-by Friendly Hills Country Club held their annual fireworks show for paying guests, but they couldn't hide the bursting sky rockets accompanied by patriotic music from the neighborhood. After the fireworks grand finale, Al Jessup led the group in singing "America the Beautiful." Thanks Kappmeyers. Everyone had, shall we say, a spectacular time.

YFF Enjoys Pool Party A small group of our high school youth spent a few hours on July 8th at the Eggleton home, enjoying swimming, lounging in the spa, listening to the musical expertise of Billy Bob Bass, warming up at the fire pit, and having an all around good time. Ann & Harry prepared a barbecued meal of chicken breasts, corn on the cob, Clearmans toasted bread, along with tossed salad, & dessert. This all followed the appetizers and beverages that preceded dinner. We want to thank Ann, Harry, Christian, and Micah for the warm hospitality and for being gracious hosts. This evening was just another great example of the Meeting's support of the youth activities. Debbie & Randy Hays Youth Workers

JHF Holds Lake Arrowhead Retreat The Junior High Fellowship youth group spent the weekend of June 23rd at the Camps' cabin. The 11 kids, Taylor Hays, Aline & Diego Hickey, Chris Berardino, Sarah Garland, Christian Eggleton, Anna Wright, Jennifer Smith, Anthony Bermudez, Amanda Settlage, and Clint Harris had a great time. We played pool, listened to music, went swimming in the lake, window shopped in the Village, and played several card games. We shared in the preparation, cooking and cleanup of our meals, and had some devotional/ fellowship time together as well. Thank you to our chaperones, Randy & Debbie, Dawn Wright, and Ken & Joanne Camp, for their patience and guidance during our stay. This was the 5th annual event for the junior high group which included those who were moving on to high school and entering the 6th grade. At the end of our visit, none of us were really ready to leave, but we knew we had to. --Taylor Hays

YFF Enjoys Welcome/Good-by Trip to LA At the end of June the YFF took a trip into LA to view some of its famous landmarks. The trip was coordinated and chaperoned by Lynda Ladwig and Debi Nelson. It started out with a ride to the Montebello train station. We hopped on the MetroLink and rode to Union Station in LA. We got on the Red Line subway after noticing a large mural. It represented different cultures in LA. We journeyed under the busy streets of Downtown to Pershing Square. After our multiple train trips, we walked over to Grand Central Market. We walked around inside and looked at all the booths and what they were selling; they had some pretty interesting things. Then we went to the Bradbury Building, and looked at all the old hardwood floors and marble staircases, with rod-iron railings and decorations. Then we went back to the market and across the street to Angel's Flight. Angel's Flight was a train that was built in the early 1900's and recently restored to carry people up a steep hill. After that, we went up to the Wells Fargo building, toured around through their museum and learned about the old stagecoaches and the role they played in early transportation. After that event-filled morning, we all went back to Union Station on the subway. We then walked over to Olvera Street and had an "authentic" Mexican lunch. Then we went back to Union Station and took the MetroLink back to the Montebello train station and came back to church. All of us had a great time learning about all of the hidden treasures in the city we live in that some of us don't know much about! - Christian Eggleton

Youth Prepare for Trip to H.P.I. Ceres Center Last year at this time the 7th thru 12th grade youth were preparing for a trip to the Ceres Center for Heifer Project International. Upon arriving we soon found out that the Ceres Center is more than just a farm, more than the regional office for Heifer Project. It is a place where we can learn about world living and acquire the skills that help us to help other people and ourselves. It is a place where working together requires cooperation as we give of ourselves in a service project. It is a place where we become well aquatinted with each other and we are reminded of how fortunate we are to have so much. On August 13th at rise of meeting, the youth will again leave for the Ceres Center. We will be presenting the culmination of a year's gifts from this meeting (a check for approx. $6,800) to the Heifer Project International representatives at the Ceres Center upon our return this year. As we prepare for our trip to Ceres, it is with some different expectations than before and a real sense of accomplishment and pride for a meeting that takes seriously the call of sharing their gifts with the world.

"People of Peace, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow" Theme of Peace Camp August 7-11, 2000 Goal: To help children and youth have a better understanding of the diversity, the uniqueness, and the commonality that is shared by all living things. Friendly Neighbors Peace Camp is a vehicle by which we can equip children and youth (grades 1st thru 8th ) with the skills that enable them to recognize and discern what is acceptable and what is not. We seek to empower them to act courageously, responsibly, and positively to effect change whenever needed, instilling awareness that each of us, no matter how small, can have a voice and make an impact. It is important for each child to understand that he/she can choose to make a difference--that they are part of --not apart from creation, and that what they do or fail to do can have an effect on the world around them. By using cooperative games, songs, role-playing, crafts, and real as well as fictional stories, we can encourage individual and corporate skills, the importance of building trust, and the value that comes from working together. We want to support, acknowledge, and affirm each other and those in our communities with respectful behavior and conviction that together we can truly be a people of peace. Registrations are now available in the First Friends Church office or by calling Lynda Ladwig.

USFW Plans "Non-Event" In August we will again be having our Non-Event fund-raising project. You will receive a letter in early August explaining the Non-Event. The money raised is used to benefit various missionary projects and to help with our budget. Gwen Woirhaye and Marci Berardino are working on the year book. If you have a new address or phone number, please contact one of them, or if you are a woman new to the meeting, please be sure they have your correct address and phone number. As soon as you receive your year book in the mail, please mark all the dates on your calendar and come to the USFW meetings. You will find that you'll enjoy them. --Co-presidents Carrin Bouchard and Audine Coffin

Daycare Workers Needed by Friends School Whittier Friends School is seeking to hire daycare workers for the 2000-01 school year. Daycare hours are from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m., 11:45 to 1:15 for lunch monitoring, and 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.. Hours can be shared if you are unable to cover all times. Patience, love, and enthusiasm needed! Please call Anne Eggleton in the school office Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings for further information. Whittier Friends School is currently on summer break, but continuing to accept enrollment. Staff members will be at the school throughout the summer with the exception of a period of vacation at the end of July and early August. Interviews, tours and information about the school will be available during summer months.

Wayne Tiffany Remembered Wayne Meyers Tiffany was born in St. Albans, Vermont, on October 22, 1918. After losing his father when he was nine years old, Wayne and his family moved to Pennsylvania. There he graduated from High School and worked for 19 years as a bookkeeper at the Meadville Malleable Iron Company where he met Ella. They were married on September 18, 1948, and moved to California ten years later. In Whittier, Wayne worked for the U.S. Postal Service for 27 years. Wayne loved to paint landscapes in oils, and was active in art circles. He had a one-man art show in both Pennsylvania and La Habra, CA. He enjoyed travel and, with Ella, went to Europe, Egypt, the Holy Land, Australia, as well as Alaska, Hawaii, and many places in the United States. Wayne loved to fish, especially in the fresh-water streams of Pennsylvania, and lakes in Canada. One year he built a 14 foot boat which was launched on Pennsylvania's largest natural lake. He enjoyed using the boat for fishing and water skiing. Wayne was a quiet, gentle person with a great sense of humor, It was okay if the joke was on him. In 1991, Wayne had two lung surgeries and has suffered many other health problems, but he never let them affect his good nature. He loved music, art, friends, and family gatherings. He died on June 23, 2000, at the age of 81. Waynes's memorial service was held on June 27, 2000, at First Friends Church. We will miss seeing him with Ella at the Senior Sneaks and on Sunday mornings.

Senior Sneaks to Meet at Church Picnic August 24 We'd like to join the summer picnic group Thursday, August 24. Everyone's having a wonderful time at these picnics. The theme for the evening is John Greenleaf Whittier. I hear tell that if you bring a favorite poem you can share it. If you'd like to go with us, we will pick you up and we will bring a dish for you so you won't have to cook. The picnics start at 6:15. When you call Shirley Votaw and say you want to join us, I'll tell you when we'll pick you up.

FCNL Wants Your Opinion It is not often that our opinion is actively sought and then truly heeded. But that is exactly how FCNL (Friends Committee on National Legislation) works. If a concern is not voiced by F(f)riends, it will not be listed in the priorities the staff heeds in their work. Now is the time for us to express our priorities for the 107th Congress. Copies of the form to use will be in the bulletin on July 30, and August 6 &13. Please join us on August 20, at the rise of meeting to discuss your concerns. Bring a salad or sandwich (drinks provided) and your ideas. If you won't be in town August 20, the office will accept your surveys ahead of time. As a member of the FCNL Policy Committee and the mom of a staff member, I can assure you your voice will be heard. All you need to do is speak. --Sue Settlage

In round numbers, the Meeting expects to spend $336,700 from General Operating Fund in 2000 to support the Meeting's ministries and programs. During the first half of 2000, the Boards spent a total of $161,200 (47.88% of the 2000 Budget). During this same period, the General Operating Fund received contributions and income totaling $132,700 (39.41% of the 2000 Budget). As approved by Monthly Meeting, the difference between expenditures and income was made up by a transfer of funds from the Ministries Endowment.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope." A phrase that is not heard very often these days is one that the cartoon character Charlie Brown made famous, "Good Grief." It is usually used as exclamatory saying expressing surprise. But think about those two words, "Good Grief." It almost sounds like an oxymoron. How can grief be good? Actually, grieving can be a healing therapy. This is something that Granger Westberg, in his book called, you guessed it, Good Grief points out. I would like to draw upon his little booklet to see how grieving can be a "constructive approach to the problem of loss." Every person grieves at one time or another because we all experience loss during our lives. Some of these losses can cause major grieving--a spouse dies, you lose your job, a divorce occurs. Other experiences of life can cause "little griefs." You do badly on a test, you have to cancel a dinner date that you were looking forward to, your boss with whom you really got along is replaced by a pompous and overbearing louse. Thus, grieving over these small and great losses are as much a part of life as the happiness and joy that we often experience. Characters in the Bible grieve. The Israelites caused a lot of grief to Moses in the wilderness. Samuel grieves over Saul. David grieves over the loss of Jonathan and Saul. Jesus grieves when his disciples cannot stay awake while he prays and when his own people show hardness of heart. Goodness sakes, in John's gospel, we even find Jesus weeping. And at one point, God grieves that He made humankind! Unfortunately, sometimes as Christians we take a Stoic view of life­that we have to keep a stiff upper lip and keep our emotions and feelings under control. As if grieving might imply that we are weak. Or worse, that we don't have faith in God. Granger points out that sometimes people will quote those two words from the above passage, ". . .you will not grieve . . ." and then forget the rest of the verse, ". . .as do the rest who have no hope" It doesn't say we are not to grieve. But it does say that there is a difference between those who have hope and those who do not. The Christian hope is, of course, based on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But even those who have this hope will grieve. The loss is still there. And we shall have to work through it. And it is through the working through our grief that healing comes. Granger writes of ten stages of grief. Not everyone goes through all ten stages nor do they always go in the order he lists. Sometimes, you might have two or three of these feelings at once. Grief is a complicated human experience that can't be reduced to lists. However, it is a helpful way of looking at how we deal with grief. Next month, I will list these ten stages of grief. So, grieving is a natural part of life. Those who submerge their grief or hide it usually have repercussions later on in their life. So, as Granger says, "Grieve, not as those who have no hope, but for goodness sake, grieve when you have something worth grieving about!" Rex Jones

Josephine Dockstader Phyllis Cobbs Paul Secord Jim Mills Florence Hinshaw Goldie Waldron Helen Paik Reah McCurdy Mary Wanner Helen Vanover Frances Eisman Peggy Anderson Gladys Compton Hazel Jessen June Noble Lyle Gillis Paul Stauffer Mary Albano Earnie Wells Marilyn Dickey Delleen Pickup